***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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