I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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