can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
