I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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