It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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