I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
