Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
