we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
