He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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