love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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