Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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