i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
