i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
