i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
