my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
smell my finger.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
