he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
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I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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