how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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