uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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