Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
