You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
