i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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