JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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