girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
