The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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