so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
