I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
In America we eat man semen.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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