2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
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I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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