god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This house was built for laser tag.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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