I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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