I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When are your genitals available?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize