I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
