Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
