what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
