i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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