hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
