Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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