I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize