I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
