Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
