My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
