I got chris browned last night
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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