My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize