Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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