no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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