remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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