just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's just like the Real World with babies
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
