I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize