its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
