Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
