I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested