Don't you send me to vm
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.