he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.