I only kidnapped one of them. chill
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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