i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.