in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize