I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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