Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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