so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
