ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
