no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
