At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
of course. lets lasso hookers.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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