I must be too annoying 4 u.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
ugly people sure do ruin things
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
