I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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