I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize