I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
