I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
