Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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