I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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