4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
