once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
