I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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