We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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