remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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