i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
too bad you live with your parents still
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
