you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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